Soft ripstop might be the perfect lightweight fabric for the warm summer days, and mild summer evenings. These have a slight boot cut leg, but you can also roll them up and button for beach use. They have nice military accents, and rugged overstitched belt to keep them riding just below the waist.

J.Crew: Vintage Ripstop Cargo Pants

What says rich tacky loser more than a trip in the Hummer over to the shopping mall to buy Prada? Do people even use those things off road? Obviously it’s a great vehicle for the military and other utilitarian needs, but in case you didn’t know, you look like an idiot in a shiny new bloated barge like this. You definitely do NOT look like a cool rich guy either, if you want to look like a cool rich guy with TASTE and not a tacky schmuck purchase a RAD car like this for example (you’ll still be a schmuck with too much money, but you’ll look much less nuevo riche).

Green Label: Organic Bummer Men’s T-shirt

These pants from Bambu Tyger combine military toughness and some modern street style to produce some excellent results. The slick black cargo pants are 100% cotton and have three side pockets on the leg. Topped off with extra buttons on the top left pocket and straps on the waist these are sexy, tough and super cool! Act now and get them on sale.

Bambu Tyger: Saigon Cargo Pant

This 100% Cotton minitartan fabric really gives these shorts from J.Crew a nice washed out vintage look. The small plaid pattern and subdued red and gray color is a nice departure from the usually overtly preppie stylings consisting of polka dots, loads of yellow, anchors, and ducks that over populate the brand. The shorts have off seam pockets and are a relaxed fit cut, for…relaxing, which is good, because we really hate the high stress cut.

J.Crew: Macalister tartan field shorts

Bathing Ape has some really wild fabric patterns on their hoodies and t-shirts. Some are a bit too chaotic and flashy for our subdued military Birdfight style tendencies, but then again how can we resist this really fun monster sweatshirt. Sometimes you just have to let the damn monster our of the box. This poor guy is all messed up, I mean he’s got his mouth running down the middle of his face! Ah well i’ll bet he is warm to wear and will be guarenteed to bring about a few smiles everywhere he goes.

Bathing Ape: Monster Hooded Sweatshirt

Modern Amusement makes hipster clothing for the modern retro hipster. This is a nice distressed looking hand painted t-shirt featuring the companies crow mascot in orange on white.

Modern Amusement - Hand Painted Crow (Pop Orange) - Apparel

These silver shoes from Gola are black leather with a sexy silver coating that give these kicks their style. Gola has been producing high quality high fashion sports shoes for over 100 years. The shoe has a molded rubber sole, is fabric lined and has a cool fastening tape toe strap that locks down your piggies.

Gola: Kingdom Sneaker

Man I’m SUPER pissed…They have this shirt in every size except XL. I’m extra large dammit, and apparently so is every other dork who wants one of these wicked bad Zombie T-shirts from Oddity. The birds might just save us from the scourge of zombies looming just over the horizon, because they hunger for brains…brains of zombies!

Oddica: Zombie Brain Chew T-shirt

Add this mighty elephant tie to your power dress suit and shake up the board room. This tasteful yet wild navy tie is from the high fashion designers of Versace, and is made from 100% textured box woven silk. The elephants are pictured with raised trunks…greeting or warning? Take your pick only the elephant knows for sure.

Versace: Navy Elephant Tie

These are some flashy sandals from the shoe geniuses at Camper. We like the red patent leather uppers with the cute white overstitching. The lightly padded sole and the adjustable hook and loop closure ensure a comfortable snug fit. They come in a few colors but the snazzy red will get you noticed more!

Camper - Ous